EXTRA... EXTRA... READ ALL ABOUT IT!
Article by Jack Diven
IT'S SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! Seriously people, Super Bowl Sunday mine as well be a national holiday as far as I am concerned. I mean think about it, one day a year tens of millions of people lean in to watch a bunch of sweaty men run around and pulverize each other all while 100,000 fans erupt with anticipation at the slinging of a hunk of oblong pigskin. Furthermore, there is a select eccentric bunch of fans that think that the best way to celebrate the holiday is to go to the game shirtless, painted, and wear a bird hat.
The point is that this is a big day. And for NewlyWeds like us, it is an occasion for our first married party in our lovely home! So for those of you that are married, you have more than likely had a Super Bowl party, or at the very least thought about having one. And so, I have done you you men out there a great service by sharing 5 masculine Super Bowl party recipes. And at this very moment, some of you men are thinking... dude, bro... recipes are not manly... WELL THINK AGAIN MY SUPER BOWL LOVING BROS!!! With these manly meals, you can do all the "cooking"!
1. The Hot Dog
Guys, you have the wonderful opportunity to take a cheap and quite frankly (pun intended) underrated dog of deliciousness and give the hot dog it's day! Throw those suckers on the grill, dress them up with all the condiments that you can imagine and turn them into a gourmet meal!
2. The Hot Wing
Simply buy them... Should they get cold, nuke em. If you wanna get real fancy with your chef work on the masterpiece of a recipe such as the store bought Hot Wing, serve them with a variety of trimmings such as the exquisite ranch dressing or benign blu cheese.
3. The Cheese and Cracker Platter
This recipe requires a massive level skill and is only for those of us that are experienced at throwing Super Bowl parties. Kids... don't try this at home. The easy part is simply buying this item from the store, but, where must of us men go wrong is that we get the platter out when people start showing up at the party. The art form that comes from serving this recipe comes from putting the platter out before the party starts and munching on enough of it to satisfy your stomach with this delightful duo, all while not eating so much that your wife yells at you for consuming all the party food. Gentlemen this is no easy task. I recommend having a few parties under your belt before setting out on such a massive undertaking.
4. The Chip and Dip
Guys, buy some chips... then buy some dips, and serve it on some paper plates. Your wife will try desperately to serve this classic recipe on a "classy looking tray"... don't do it... please just don't do it. NOT MANLY! Play your cards right with good packaging, a little charismatic communicating, and you can convince people that the salsa your serving is some kind home made contraption. Remember, when they ask how you made it, tell them it's a family secret passed down from generations to minimize any skepticism from your bros.
5. The Pizza
Call your favorite local pizza shop and go all out for this special occasion. Does your wife normally limit you to getting a simple 2 topping pepperoni and mushroom pie? There may be a day when our toppings are limited on Super Bowl Sunday but it is not this day. There may be a day when the awesomeness of men fails, and we limit the consumption of this Italian delicacy, but it is not this day... THIS DAY, WE EAT AND ORDER WHATEVER OUR MANLY HEARTS DESIRE!!!
If you are a dude and you find yourself thinking, what the heck is all this "not this day" stuff that he is talking about... you had better just go out and buy cook book or get your recipes off of Pinterest for your Super Bowl parties, at least until you go and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy on bluray extended addition.
Go my brothers! Let the Super Bowl fun commence!
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