There will ALWAYS be a “What’s next?” When you’re single,
you wonder when Mr. Right will come along. When Mr. Right comes, you wonder
when he’s going to propose. After he proposes, you pray that the wedding day
will hurry and relieve you from the 7th circle of hell also known as
engagement. After marriage, you begin to wonder when you’ll have children.
After the first child, you may wonder how long is too long until the second
child. After the second child…well you get it by now. Life comes in stages. It
always has and it always will. But if we stay caught up in “What’s next,” we
miss the amazingness that is right now!
This blog post is dedicated to those in the life stage known
as single.
I want you to know that there is nothing in this world that
would make me want to change being married to the love of my life. But there
are some things I miss from the single stage that I want to share with you. I
want you to realize that this is a unique time, and when you move on to the next
stage, no matter how wonderful it is, there will be things you miss; things you
wish you had done; time you wish you wouldn’t have taken for granted; and if
you’re like me, shoes you wish you would have bought.
So here are 5 things to do while you’re in the life stage
‘single’ from someone in the life stage ‘newlywed.’
1. Find yourself.
This may sound so cliché, but I promise it is
something you need to do. You need to explore, discover yourself, find out who
you truly are, who you want to be, and be happy with that. Because until you
know who you are, you will allow yourself to settle with any
relationship—friend or significant other. When you know who you are, you can
find people who will come along side of you and join you on your journey. If
you do not know yourself, you may find yourself on someone else’s journey. It
won’t happen overnight, but one day you’ll wake up and wonder who you are.
Sometimes this is how people have found themselves, so if you’ve already traveled
that road, do not feel shame. Use your experiences to grow wiser. Some of the
best times discovering myself were after I had completely lost myself. Live and
learn.
2. Dream.
Again, cliché…I know. But if you begin
dreaming when you are in your current life stage, there are a couple of things
you may realize:
-You may realize that you need someone else’s help to fulfill this
dream. When this happens, and someone, friend or significant other, comes along
with the same dreams and passion, it can be an amazing thing to watch that
dream bring you closer together. Accomplishing goals and dreams together with
someone else is extremely fulfilling!
-Or
you may realize that you have a dream that has to be accomplished while you’re
in your current life stage. If you don’t spend time dreaming, you may wake up
one day and realize that you wanted to travel Europe for three months and kiss
someone random under the Eiffel Tower in Paris—that’s probably not the best
idea if you’re married with 3 kids…
Dream now! Accomplish all that you can
while you are single. Dreaming could even help you out with number 1.
3. Find a solid group of friends that support you.
No, I do not mean friends that you like
because they will tell you what you want to hear. No, I do not mean friends that
you like because they’ll go out dancing with you (although if you have friends
that do that, you can keep them for their awesomeness).
You need a core group of friends that know
you…sometimes better than you know yourself. You need friends that will tell
you what you need to hear, and you
need friends that will be your friend no matter what life stage you are in. The
friends you have can be most needed when you are moving from one life stage to
another—especially if the stage you are moving into feels like a step
backwards.
4. Spend money.
You are probably thinking, “Finally,
something fun!” And while I do think that you need to be responsible with your
money and have a budget, I think your budget should definitely include money
for Girls’ Nights and lots of shoes. You may think that when you get married
that you’ll have two incomes so more money. Most of the time this is not the
case. With marriage comes more bills, more responsibilities, and only sensible
shoes for work. So if you are in the lovely life stage of “single” take
yourself on a shopping date to the mall, find a pair of shoes that make your
legs look killer, and buy those babies (then send me a picture so that I can
live vicariously through you!).
5. Be lazy.
You know how you wake up on Saturday with
nothing to do sometimes—enjoy the mess out of it. Revel in it. Heck if empty
Saturdays were a person I would tell you to make out with him! I know there
will be days when you wish you had something you could do with your friends,
and there will be nights that you wish you had a simple dinner and movie date.
It’s okay to want those things. But someday what you’ll want more is pajamas,
Netfilx, microwave popcorn, and nobody else around. So go get your RedBox
movie, subscribe to Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime Instant Video, and anything
else you can think of and be lazy. Let the clothes sit in the hamper a day
longer. Let the dishes stay in the sink. Let the floor go unvacuumed. Eat chips
for dinner so you don’t have to cook, and enjoy it.
Live in the now...soak it up!
xoxo Kayla
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