The Early Bird Gets the Worm...Gross

EXTRA... EXTRA... READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Article by Kayla Diven


Unlike my husband, I am writing this midday because like his last blog post so *wonderfully* stated, I am NOT a morning person.  If you haven't read that post yet, you're going to want to before you continue: http://thenewlywednews.blogspot.com/2014/12/kissing-snow-white.html

Disclaimer #1: My husband knew exactly what he was getting when he married me....I LOVE sleep. I love napping, snoozing, dozing, hibernating, slumbering..whatever you want to call it, sleep may just be one of my favorite things ever. I never get bored because if I feel boredom coming on, I'll just sleep. He totally knew this before he married me!

I think my love of sleep started from my hatred of waking up. Let me just count the ways for you that my loving mother tried to use to wake me up:

1. Removing my covers so that I would freeze to death and therefore decide to wake up. Being cold just made me go back to sleep to escape the misery.

2. Opening my blinds and singing "Let the sunshine in...".  The sound of my mother singing this to me up in the morning was the equivalent to a bird squawking in the distance--one that you cant quite reach to cut off it’s air supply and put it out of it’s misery...

Just imagine the squeaking happening here!!

3. Opening my door, turning on the light and blasting the tv or radio. This only caused my brain to become numb to all noise in the morning, therefore allowing me to sleep through alarms  *thanks mom this really helped me wake up for my college classes...NOT*

4. This is my personal favorite....dumping cups of cold water on my face while still in bed.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

At this point can you seriously blame me for hating mornings?? Anyone who demands me to wake up just reverts me back to my teenage misery. I mean come on...the longer I could sleep, the longer I could avoid all the annoyances of the day...mostly my mom's chipper whistling in the morning while she declares “It’s a new day, you should feel blest."  -insert country accent here.

Don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for each day I'm given and I definitely need God's new mercies every morning, but I'll take them after 9am thank you!

Now, fast-forward a few years, and I'm married to my loving husband who just happens to think that my unmorningness (yes, I made up this word) is some kind of flaw. Well excuse me Mr. but I just so happen to think that your brain waking you up at 6am on the dot every morning without an alarm clock is about the weirdest thing I've ever encountered. But as you read in our last post, he has so sneakily come up with sweet tactics for waking me up. And since he has put more effort into waking me up than my loving mother ever did, I've had to come up with my own tactics for staying in bed as long as possible...even if only for a few more seconds!

So for all of you lovely unmorning people, here's some tips of my own for staying in bed as long as possible.

Conversation 1:
Husband: "Sweetie, would you like to take a shower?"
Wife: *pretend you're still asleep and didn't hear*
Husband: *sweetly shaking you repeating the same question*
Wife: *you can no longer pretend you're asleep* "Ok sweetie but go get the water warm and then I'll come in there." You've bought yourself at least 2 more minutes...maybe more if your hot water sucks! ;)

Conversation 2:
Husband: "Quit hitting snooze, you NEED to get up"
Wife: *reset alarm for 30 minutes later* "Oh sweetie, I'm going into work later today...i forgot" *go back to sleep* *then when alarm goes off 30 minutes later* "I decided I should go in at 8am after all." Insert 30 extra minutes of sleep..woohoooo

Conversation 3:
Husband: "I made you some coffee sweetie, here you go."
Wife: "aww thank you sweetie! I don't want to spill it. Can you take it back in the kitchen, and I'll come get it in a minute."
Husband: *goes back into kitchen and temporarily leaves you alone*
Wife: *at least 1 more minute of sleep...ah*

Conversation 4:
Husband: "Sweetie, please wake up. I just miss you and want to spend time with you."
Wife: *can't deny this precious request* "Aww sweetie that's sweet. Can we please snuggle?" *snuggle up and go back to sleep. Depending on how much you're hubby likes to snuggle, you just got 3-15 more minutes of sleep.*

If you are more night owl than morning person like me, then you've probably heard this phrase thrown at you a billion times: "The early bird gets the worm." Well you morning mutants, you can have all the freaking worms you want...

"mmm...juicy" he says :)

XOXO Yours truly,
the night owl 




PS. If you like our posts, please comment and share! We would love to hear your thoughts/tactics for waking up or staying asleep!


Gem of the day:       In all seriousness we encourage our readers to get a healthy 7-8 hours of sleep           
                                 each night...here's some great reasons why:

                                 http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20459221,00.html